It was a weird week. I went to lululemon to return something, and only took two items into the fitting room with me. Just wasn’t feeling spendy, TBH. I suppose that’s fiscally responsible and not something to be weirded out by.

The whole reason I went over was to return the maldives green Align High-Rise Mini Flare Pant. I’d seen reviews on Reddit that they may not work out for women with larger calves, so I held my breath as I waited for them to arrive in the mail. Loved the color, but… they fit strangely on me. For reference, I’m wearing a Size 10 in the 32″ inseam.

They fit tight through the lower part of my calves, and then the leg openings were flapping in the breeze. It was an odd contrast of sensation. They don’t LOOK all that weird, but the way they felt was a bit off. In the third photo, you can see on my left leg where they quickly change from tights to flapping in the breeze.

I’m trying to imagine items as a pile of $20 bills lately. Once I envisioned six $20’s in my hand… I wanted them instead of the pants.

But Wait… How About a $35 Mini Flare Dupe?

Two days after I placed my order with lululemon, Athleta was offering 20% off sale items, so of course I took a cheeky gander at their site. There they were, the Transcend Slim Pant, marked down from $109 to $34.97. I’d already been faked out by this complete STEAL in January. I ordered a Black size M and my order was cancelled. I was surprised to see them in stock, and again held my breath as I ordered, half doubting they’d even ship. They did. Huzzah!

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER. The leg opening is the look I’m going for, but this time the subtle flare started up closer to the knee. Even if they were full priced, they’d still have won for fit alone. Athleta FTW.

Size wise, I got an M based off of the Rainier Tights I’ve been wearing over the years, but TBH I’ve gained 10lbs over the winter and probably should have gone with a L. The fabric is a bit on the thinner side so if you’re in between, go up. Not exactly squat approved, but I’ll take the blame on this one for ordering a size that may not be suited for where my body is at today.

5 4 Faves & a Dud: 3/21/23 Upload

I’m about to cement myself into the suburban Connecticut stereotype big time. I grew up playing golf and tennis, still do, and without thinking… all the tabs I opened have to do with country club sports. If it’s round, yellow, and fuzzy… it’s a tennis ball. I am a tennis ball. In the eloquent words of Brooklyn from this year’s Bachelor… “if the shoe fits, lace that bitch up.”

Also, four’s all I’ve got in me this week.

Favorite #1: Side-Cinch Shopper Bag in Wild Berry or Emerald Ice

My holiday shopper from 2015 is still holding strong as my chosen reusable grocery bag. This could be used as a beach bag or a pool bag, but more realistically it would end up riding around in the back of my car for Target runs. There is a single pocket on the inside. There is a single pocket on the inside. It doesn’t even zip.

All that to say, aside from the bright colors, this bag doesn’t have much going on for it. But hell, I’d be the bougiest girl in Target on a Tuesday morning.

Favorite #2: Warpstreme Multi-Pocket High-Rise Golf Skirt

Oooooh this look is so crispy and clean. Liking the more polished look to wear for work this summer. While I looove my flouncy cute skirts, as I keep moving up the ranks… Court Rivals are less and less accepted on managerial types. I’ll inevitably brush up against a dirty road case, so sunny coral and white are no go’s for me. Into the shopping cart the black one goes.

Favorite #3: Grid-Texture Tennis Long-Sleeve Shirt in True Navy or White

Also comes in true navy. Side note: I know it’s got to be all about SEO optimization, but does anyone else miss when lululemon actually made an effort to give each piece a unique name?

Favorite #4: Quick-Dry Short-Sleeve Polo Shirt in Black

Traded in the mini flares for one of these. I’ve NEVER had any luck with polo shirts at lululemon before, and so it was a bit more of a fact finding mission in the fitting room. Surprisingly, there was enough room in the shoulders for once. I have next to 0 collared options for golf or when I need to *sort of* look professional (read: boring) at work as it heats up, so… shirt.

The Dud: RETURN OF THE LOW RISE

The Early Access portion of the app has some ‘splainin to do. LOW RISE Aligns are kicking around and my super-high-rise loving midsection CANNOT (LOVE) HANDLE IT, OKAY?!

High rise tights & shorts are the best thing that’s happened to my self confidence in a long ass time and I do not plan on participating in any of this haberdashery until you can see all 6 of my abs individually. (Mathematically, that translates to a 0.0027% chance.) I don’t want to say never (that’s what I said about running a marathon) but odds are not in favor of this.

Side note: with low rise on its way back, does this mean that my absolute arsenal of Cool Racerback Tanks will be relevant again? Crack kills, remember?

Twinning: Mango Dream x Mac & Cheese Ice Cream

Orange is a tricky color to work with. Solar orange be out here crushing the bittersweet game, but the mango dream Scuba Oversized Half Zip has my brain going in a different direction. (Can confirm I am not yanking your chain, Van Leeuwen came out with this limited edition flavor a couple years back.)

Are you going to sit here and tell me I’m wrong? I saw the Scuba IRL at the store the other day. The color truly is “pasteurized cheese food.”

Once upon a time I got a very similar nail polish color, and all it did was make me look like I’d dipped my nails in Cheeto dust. My complexion is not cut out for this color, until at least July when I’ve got a tan. I’ll just ride the bench.

Bring on the MoA

Posting from 35,000ft en route to Minneapolis. If it’s nice out, I’ll go running. If it’s colder out than what my suitcase clothes can handle, Mall of America here I come. Huge store, lots of inventory. Wallet beware.

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