Everyone knows that the first rule of CrossFit is that you always effing talk about CrossFit, so naturally, there are a lot of emotions involved when you’re that invested in the awesomeness. Here are the 7 Stages of Every CrossFit WOD. Don’t act like you haven’t been there before.
1) Excitement: F*ck yeah CrossFit! The WOD has been posted and you’re excited to SMASH IT. For those who WOD in the evening, the work day cannot go by fast enough.
2) Analysis: Oh crap. None of these damn WODs are ever as easy as they sound. 15.5 on paper? Meh, not so bad. In real life? Fraser & Froning were practically left in the fetal position, 100% confident that they were 1 and done. You start thinking too much. Rep schemes, scaling options. Do you redline out the gate and hope you make it to the end? Or, do you pace yourself and hope that you don’t wait too late in the game to empty the tank, and finish thinking you could have done better?
If you’re a girl: Optional dance break while everyone gets ready for the WOD.
3) Panic: The bar is loaded. Your hands are chalked. The jump rope is untangled beside you as you are literally ATTACHED to the rower. You can’t hide, this is happening. If it’s Open season, someone in the room is cursing Dave Castro out loud.
4) 3-2-1 GO: AHHHH ALL SYSTEMS GO THIS IS AWESOME I FEEL SO GOOD RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO SMASH THIS WOD SO HARD I’LL SHOW THE INCREDIBLE HULK HOW WE GET SHIT DONE AROUND HERE.
5) The Suck: Suddenly… 2 minutes in you change your tune. Reps get slower, muscles you didn’t know you even had start to scream. This is horrible I f*cking hate this. This would be your version of that ‘dark place’ all the Games athletes talk about.
6) The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Suddenly your pace triples. These final 2 minutes mean BIZNASS. I will finish this and I will finish this with at least ONE shred of dignity. ALL SYSTEMS GO… again.
7) And…TIME!: You made it. You collapse into a puddle onto the floor. Try to get up too soon? JELLO LEGS. Those who don’t have to go down a set of stairs when leaving the box are lucky little bastards, especially on squat day.
Even after this roller coaster, you find yourself at the end of each WOD guzzling down a recovery shake already talking about tomorrow. The cycle continues. Cue the excitement.
